You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
