Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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