I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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