I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
