Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
