It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
