remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
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