I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
