smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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