You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
