he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
