It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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