Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
