the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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