at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
