the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
