Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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