So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
