remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
