There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
