I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
