whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
