You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
