I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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