When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
