I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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