Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
