Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
