Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
