I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
The dick lei will go down in squad history
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
