Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
