Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Screwed.edu
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
