I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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