3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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