Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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