that's an acceptable place to lick
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
