Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
