sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
