could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
