I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
