so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
