Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
