woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
