Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
