I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
