I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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