so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
