Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
