she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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