I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
